It can be really difficult not to say to your partner, “don’t do it like that, do it like this”. But even if you mean well, you’ll be doing yourself a disservice if you butt in all the time, not to mention how frustrated your partner will feel. So, take a deep breath, and take a step back.
Are you the mum? Hand on heart, now: how often do you stand just behind your partner and give him little snippets of advice on everything from how he should put on a nappy to what clothes look the cutest together? Do you find it impossible to avoid giving advice when your baby is crying in their daddy’s arms?
Looking for a quick fix
That’s if you can stop yourself from taking the baby away from your partner at this stage, that is. When your partner feels his blood pressure rising as the volume of your baby’s crying increases (how can such small babies make so much noise?), there’s nothing strange about them feeling stressed and looking for a quick fix. And the quick fix for them often involves handing the baby over to you, who in many cases can offer some nice, calming food.
Dads feel a bit left out
It might seem as though your partner can’t be bothered when he gives up so quickly but the opposite is true. Actually, most dads feel a bit left out, as though the mums don’t really trust them. They even feel a bit like their partner is monitoring everything they do while they’re looking after the baby.
But just because the woman has the knack and has learned how to deal with various situations, this doesn’t mean her ways are best. Because there are several ways to soothe a crying baby; several ways to put on a nappy; and, if you’re indulgent (or just close your eyes!), several ways of combining the colours and patterns of clothes.
Your way or no way!
Your baby won’t be harmed by different ways of doing things – quite the opposite Babies learn quickly that dads do things one way and mums do them another. And that’s good – Dad should be a dad and not try to copy Mum.
(As a mum, all you have to do is just imagine what it’d be like if your mother-in-law was “helping” you when you were trying to stop your baby crying for the first time)
Are you the dad? Tell your partner to stop if she “sticks her nose in”. Trust yourself Encourage your partner to take a little “me time”. The entire family will benefit – you and your baby will develop a relationship of your own, and your partner will get to have a well-earned rest.